We
are so forgetful, aren't we? It's easy to forget who we are and what our
mission is.
As
other teachers know, there are days when students just get under your skin. I
was having just such a day with my Form II students. The first class of the day
had been rude, rowdy, rambunctious, any of a number of r-words. And they were
the “good” class of the two! I walked into the next class with a grey cloud
over my head. The first student who crosses me, I thought, is going to get it.
It didn't take long, and I stormed over to his seat, and put him in my
crosshairs. Nose to nose, I suddenly thought, what am I doing? I am a
missionary! I am here in Cameroon ostensibly because of my love of Christ and
my desire to spread the Gospel by word and witness! What a horrible witness to
the Love of the Father I am now giving, flying off the handle with no patience
at all. I am sure my students were surprised when the next words out of my
mouth were not harsh, were not punishment, but were rather, “Jesus loves you.” I
added a small note about the need to behave, blah blah blah, but the moment had
passed, the situation defused, and I was back to remembering who I was and what
my mission is.
As
Christians, our mission is the same as the Church's, given by Christ at the end
of the Gospel of Matthew:
“Go
therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the
Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that
I have commanded you; and behold, I am with you always, to the close of the
age.” (Matthew 28:19-20)
As
individuals, our personal sins damage our ability to carry out our mission, and
in turn cripple the mission of the Church. We take ourselves further and
further out of the game with every lie and lust, and the evil one sits back and
enjoys the show. We forget our baptism, and we succumb to temptation. It's
amazing how a little temptation can, with our necessary assent, transform into
a debilitating sin.
God,
in his wisdom and providence, is able to use all of us clowns to bring about
something good. All it takes is for us to remember just what it is we are
through our baptism and the dignity that entails: Members of one body, whose
head is Christ.
I've
never really had much luck with shrugging off temptation. It is always there,
always beckoning. I want it, I am attracted to its glamour. Even in the mission
field, sin and temptation are present and promising. It looks like fun! And
really, it IS kind of fun, at least in the moment. I see people sinning and I
want to sin, too. I covet sin!
We
can't just quit sinning, not without God's grace and not without some reason to
convince our fallen intellect to override our appetite. We covet sin, and how
do we covet? We begin by coveting what we see every day. The solution is not to
try to quit sin cold turkey, to will ourselves to cease sinning and resist
temptation. Rather, the solution is to begin to desire, or “covet,” so to
speak, something else. When we see something else, something that is better
than sin for both the person and society, we will begin to want that something
else. When I read the lives of the saints, I am inspired to be like them. When
I read Scripture, I am floored by the beauty and wisdom and truth within. When
I am with holy and virtuous friends, I want to be holy and virtuous, too. When
I see the innocent generosity of children, I want to be generous, too. There is
an inner light, a joy that the living saints have, and I want it!
Obviously
we can't retreat entirely from the world and all that is messed up inside of
it. But we can add some peace to the chaos, some contemplative silence to the
noise, and try to fill our lives with truth, beauty, and virtue.
We
covet what we see. To fulfill our baptismal promises and turn away from sin,
let's look to Christ and the saints, especially Mary, and “covet” their holy
living!
-Eric
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